Or that someone has a plan.
Don't remind me to ignore the can'ts,
And to focus on the can's.
Don't force me to be thankful,
Or to not look too far ahead.
To be grateful and simply humble,
Those are things not to be said.
Do not sweep aside my broken heart,
By clicking on a 'like'
Or roll your eyes as I falter again,
When my motivation goes on strike.
Because I am so very very tired now,
Of having to fight the fight.
To plaster on that smile,
Pretend everything's alright.
I have felt so much in 10 short years,
My heart's heavy, aged and cold,
It's hard to love when you are bitter,
When your insides feel so old.
There's no great plan, there is no path,
Just wonky fucked up genes,
One faulty DNA chain ripped up the rules
And scorched my every dream.
I simply made the wrong type of X man,
But a mutant all the same.
With no comic book style super power,
Just an NHS funding drain.
Like a sapling in a storm,
You bend and change but somehow stand,
Dishevveled and a little worn.
Your heart never really truly mends,
Just carries it's hidden scars,
As you fight your inner demons,
To accept things as they are.
But sometimes you can't do that,
There comes a point when you just say,
"I don't know if I have it in me,
To fight another day."
And you send out your cry for help,
Whilst trying not to drown in your own sorrow.
Hanging on with bleeding finger nails,
Hoping you will be better tomorrow.
That's when I need you to hold me up,
To let me softly sob.
Or to let out that big mum bear howl,
And admit how I feel robbed.
I am love and hope and strength abound,
For that it is my core.
It's just sometimes I need a lifeboat tow,
To drag me back to shore.
