It's about you words - not just his needs.

I get it.

I understand. 

Teaching my child is not easy.   I know it takes extra planning and time and dedication - and I am thankful you do your very best.  However the one thing I ask is that no matter how challenging you find him, please remember as parents we feel too.  So when stating difficulty you need to apply a little empathy, compassion and tact not solely fact, after all you are never telling us something we do not know... just something we may need to refocus on.

This is not a life I chose it is a life I fell into.  Remember that.   It is not a path I wished for and it is an unfamiliar life I am living.  I am tired, and weary and my heart is battle scarred.   I am as aware as you that the system does not fit my child, but I am also aware we are not in a position to change anything.  

When we sit and argue with county and professionals about a name on paper sometimes it is easy to forget that that child belongs to actual people, that this name on the paper has parents who love them and are only sat by your side fighting in solidarity through love and a drive to ensure we offer them the best opportunities we can.

I am not just a DLA filler, or medicine chaser.  I am not just a PA to attend meetings, arrange Drs appts and balance school attendance.  I am not just someone who gave up work to balance this life better, giving up the only sense of self I had left.   I am so much more than the shadow you see in a meeting focused only on doing what is right for my child.

 I am a grade 8 sax player and was the first person in my school to get a A* in music GCSE. I love to write and wish to be a children's author.  I was a dancer and medal winner.  I read a lot, I miss learning though am glad I never joined the RAF as planned,  though a career as a bands man would have been amazing!  I am a person too not just an advocate.

All I am trying to say is when you need to share concerns most of the time in honesty,  we already know and  it's not about what you need to say but how you chose to say it.  How you tell us matters, it truly truly matters.  In one breath you can either rally us on side or make us feel alienated and a bit of thoughtfulness and compassion really does go a long way in getting the best for everyone - parents, carers, teachers and pupils.